The Time Line Of Life:
About 15y ago…
When I first started being on my own. I was young, VERY young back then to be on my own. So young I didn’t even had my own driving license.
This is embarrassing…
I dropped out of school back then
But it gets worse, I made my other friend drop out too.
We were planning to build our own business
We sat together, collaborated and created a strategy
We executed on that and started a graphics workshop, a 3D graphic design company where we create product prototypes, 3D models etc on order
While we were pretty good with our service, we failed so badly I still remember the night we were canceling the hosting cause we couldn’t even pay the bill for that
Then I started testing some other stuff to see what sticks but it got EVEN WORSE…
I was sorta kicked out of my home so I REALLY needed to do something this time
And since it was a third world nation, having internet was a luxury, “surrounding yourself with great people” wasn’t even an option LOL
It was like I had a gun to my head, was ready to either die or do something about the situation
You might be thinking this is where I turned everything around, but I lost the little of what I had after that when I rushed into making some SERIOUSLY BAD decisions
After this point, I used to sit and listen to Eminem and Michael Jackson for hours
I thought about killing myself, but it takes a lot of courage to do that…
The reason why I was having these thoughts was cause of the severe anxiety I was having back then, which is something I found out later on
I would like to keep what happened after that private as I don’t wanna bitch about how f-ed up my mother was. I never talked to her after this particular time in my history, that should be enough to sum it all up
The First Dollars
Although I made some money before, this was the first time I was able to say, I was independent
I started helping startups, mostly in SaaS space do launches, I also helped a bunch of indie game developers and started my own gig.
I used to call it a 360 burst launch, that was my trademark 🙂
How to create an effect where everybody is talking about your product all over the place kinda thing, ya know.
To do that you have to figure out how to promote something in a way, that it all goes live at a particular set time, a bunch of promos executed at the same time on different marketing channels.
It’s a complex process that takes some time and if your product doesn’t suck and is unique, this one campaign alone can help you launch a rocket into an orbit i.e. launch your business with a bang
For the first time, I made over $200k in less than 6 months.
I was proud, I made more after that time, a lot more…
The Third World Strikes Back
Did I mention that all this was going on in a third world country? That’s where 90% of it all took place.
But fate wasn’t done screwing with me yet, lol.
You know what happened when somebody makes a ton of money really fast? It was like I won a lottery!
> I started spending money like a trust fund douchebag in a nightclub
> I started buying useless junk
> I figured out how to get away from paying taxes (not a cool move)
> I started associating with people who turned out to be REALLY BAD business partners
This one partner was so bad I call him “Big Smoke”
I lost so much money in 4 months, I went back to being broke again
Then I started some “side businesses”
> A f*king micro-finance bank which turned out to be a legal nightmare because I was in a third world country with laws prohibiting businesses to operate without certain requirements/licenses.
> I got ripped off by 3 times for thousands of dollars
> I lost a ton of money in media buying campaigns
> This was the point where I started seeing the ugly side of humans.
Long story short, things were getting hard.
This is where my SEVERE anxiety started kicking in, and panic attacks every single day were a common thing.
This is where everything turned upside down. If my ADHD wasn’t enough, this really f**ked me up to the point I was breaking down every single morning
I couldn’t sleep.
Like I said before I didn’t have any courage to kill myself, but my body might just do it to me by depriving me of sleep.
I went from down, to the top and then people started thinking of me as a success, then I fell down again and I was worried about what THEY might think of me, which was one of the causes of my anxiety.
But this was really the lowest point in my life, at least mentally…
This is where I started procrastinating so bad I won’t even brush my teeth in the morning
And I said to myself, we gotta get this shit together cause clearly this isn’t how it’s gonna work out
Because man, I couldn’t breathe, my chest starting to hurt like I’m about to have a heart attack, my feet fell like jelly and you know the usual symptoms of anxiety?
It was bad, really bad
This went on for about 6 months and the reason I survived 6 months because I started going deep into hacking. I kept on digging myself deep into it so I don’t have to think about anything else…
So I started seeing a shrink after this point and it REALLY helped.
Yes folks, don’t go all hippie if you have anxiety or depression, see a shrink and ask for CBT.
I started changing the way I talk to myself
I started thinking, okay I’m having this anxiety, what’s the root of it, why am I having these obsessive thoughts?
I started taking a Nootropic blend:
- Gotu Cola
- Korean Gensing
- Ginko Bibola Root
- Fish Oil
- Flax Seed Oil
- A multi-vitamin blend
- Creatine (tiny amount since I wasn’t getting much exercise)
- Some probiotics (cholesterol and healthy gut)
- Picamillion and Choline
- Convolvulus pluricaulis powder
I didn’t take the standard anxiety meds cause it makes my stomach all screwed up.
I know this is a big blend of pills and powders, but this is what worked for me after some testing. I had to cut coffee significantly too.
So this helped a bit.
This was the point that I was finally able to think with a straight head in almost over one and a half year!
- I looked back and realize how BLESSED I WAS!
- I was lucky to see that side of life at such an early age
- I was able to understand the value of money, investments, and trust
- I was able to understand what to look in a partner so he doesn’t f**ks you up to the moon
- I was able to understand the value privacy (I’ll save this one for later)
- I was able to understand the value of a GOOD partner and how precious they are
- I was able to understand the psychology of money management
- I was able to understand the importance of doing what you dig
- I was able to understand the importance of taking action really fast
- I was able to understand how ridiculous the concept of perfectionism is
- Finally, I was able to understand what being on your own means, psychologically.
Thankfully I did not have any big ass debt cause I never went to college. lol
>>This was the point where I started my own incubator<<
I’m now a completely different person thanks to those events!
This is where I started helping startups, as well as started building my own business
What was different this time?
A ton of things
> I started doing things my own way
> I started making sure I have complete control over my business, especially finance
> I made sure I had the best team and if I don’t like someone, or see a bad sign – bam, you’re out
> I made sure I do not associate with anyone who wasn’t adding value to my life
> I made sure I wasn’t f**king around
> I made sure not to buy anything that I didn’t NEED (duh!)
There was a point in my life, before Harrel 2.0, I was about to almost buy a McLaren, and now I look back and see how bad of a disaster it would’ve been financially at that point in my life.
That’s life, you’re not special, you don’t belong anywhere, everybody dies. (Quote: Rick & Morty)
Now I have a team that I would die for. Everybody takes accountability for what they do and I love it!
And after this point, things worked out really well for me.
Now when something doesn’t workout, I turn things around really fast by just doing a little diagnosis of the problem. It is all about your mindset.
I learned the importance of being in shape – mentally.
It’s not hard, nothing is hard unless you try to make it complicated.
The biggest shift was I stopped giving a fish about what people think of me. This was also one of the root causes of my anxiety.
The Story Continues
This is the story of my work life.
I know I’ve missed a ton of important milestones
I’ve left a ton of important relationships, tragedies to keep this short and to the point
But I guess this post did its job to show you the importance of experiences
If I could go back in time from today, what would I do differently?
My past experiences, both good and bad, are the foundations of what I am right now.
And I won’t change a god damn thing about it cause I love my present.
I’m certain, that harder times than your past will approach you in future, but this time at least you’ll know exactly what to do.
Right now, I have financial freedom. I would even go as far as to say that I’m rich and it’s all because of the decisions I’ve made in the past.
Your past if your best teacher, but only if you ask the right questions and do something about it.
Until then, peace out.
– Wayne Harrel
Wayne Harrel is the founder of Zielix® Incubator, Thrib® Technologies that is the parent company of a number of startups like Hatchboy and Postboy AI promotion platform.
>Wayne also writes about technology and some random stuff on his blog in shitty grammar cause he is too cheap to hire an editor. He is also a vocal supporter of privacy, transhumanism and net neutrality.